oh my, i have only survived one day and its official...i may never want to be a mom. i dont do well with school aged children. i need kids who love me unconditionally and still take naps - essentially people under the age of 3. you think i might enjoy exerting my authority, but really it just annoys me to have to do it. there were moments this morning when i actually felt bad for being such a picky child. do kids do that just to annoy their parents?? is that why i did it?? here is a recap of the past day with a few highlights pointing towards why i am debating the whole offspring issue...
got here yesterday morning at 6:30am...both kids awake. on a freaking sunday mind you!! what is that?? i proceeded to half watch cartoons, half doze on the couch until about 10 when i finally decided it wouldnt greatly pain me to physically open my eyes. i cant convince the boy to eat breakfast, normally wouldnt be a problem, but he is a diabetic so he needs to eat. i finally manage to get everyone somewhat settled with breakfast in between the screaming fights over the remote control and computer games. i fake ooh and ahh and pretend to be interested in their webkinz (sidenote, what internet genius came up with stuffed animals you could pay to feed online??) lunch was another battle of not wanting to eat and i just gave up. i checked the kids sugar and it was fine so it was something i wasnt even gonna fight. it was gorgeous outside so i decided the troops should all head out and enjoy the day. mainly for selfish reasons because i figure if i am here enduring early wake ups and picking up a strangers dog poop, i should at least benefit somehow by getting a tan. and of course, abby doesnt want to go outside yet because she wants to wait till 1pm. why?? no one knows. chris wants to go, but then doesnt because abby doesnt. alas, i tell them we are going outside anyway and what do ya know...abby wants to play in the front yard and chris wants to play in the backyard. awesome. i realize that i cant win, i put my bathing suit on and park myself on the lounge chair out back trying to imagine that i am somewhere, anywhere else but in a strange backyard surrounded by skateboards and star-shaped pool floats.
everyone seems relatively happy which at this point is all i am really shooting for. so i come inside an hour or so later determined to get lunch going and get some food into these children. i couldnt have their parents coming back to malnourished kids. so, i think...hey, its sunday, a relaxing day, lets order some pizza! i thought that would be fun and cool of me...i was responded to with less than enthusiastic grumbles. after an hour or so of convincing, we decide that fine...we can order pizza. oh but wait, thats too easy. one likes papa johns and the other one wants pizza hut because "papa johns makes her throw up." of course it does. so pizza hut it is and 45 minutes later, everyone is somewhat happy again and full of pizza. then comes time to get chris ready for his lacrosse game which i thought i was taking him too which meant abby had permission to stay home alone while we were gone. trying to make a strange 10 year old wear a cup and understand the importance of said cup is not something i care to ever have to do again. and then to my surprise, his teammate came by to pick him up for the game. yea for me!! no good for abby. she was seriously so upset that i wasnt going, she actually asked the parents of the teammate if her babysitter could go with them to the game. um...no ma'am. i had to use my mommy authoritative voice and explain to abby that she would have to get over it because i was staying home. she was like, but i dont want you here, i wanted to be home alone. i said, i am going to go lay by the pool so there ya go, it will be like you are here alone anyway. geez.
lacrosse game is over, abby has forgiven me for staying home and now we are in the homestretch of the day...praise the Lord. chris comes home all sweaty and tries to sit on the new couch and throws a fit when i tell him he isnt allowed to because he is so gross. then we proceed to have a 20 minute argument about him taking a shower versus not taking a shower. he claimed that he had one last night so he was fine....to which i replied that his shirt was soaking wet with sweat and um, no...he would be showering tonight. i had to bargain and promise him no shower the next night. whatever, they arent my kids...i dont care if they are the smelly kid in class. dinner was yet another struggle...what is it with kids and eating!?? obviously the left over pizza was gross...heaven forbid we eat that. so i made two different dinners...corn dogs for abby and chris, after an hour of prodding and debating, decided on a baked potato. oh, and then convinced i didnt know how to make one, called his mother in the bahamas so she could tell me how to make one. great.
finally it is time to get everyone upstairs for bed...i never thought this moment would come. of course chris runs and gets in bed, little does he know that i am actually not completely ignorant and i do in fact remember that he needs to take a shower. and by shower, i guess that means taking a bath and sitting in his own filth. whatever. regardless, his skin was touched by soap so i will take it as a small victory for me...and to be honest at this point, i was just trying to get them into bed. i have to do some reading aloud for both kids and even bored myself with that whole thing. then it was lights out and doors closed and a sigh of relief for katelynn.
i could feel every muscle relaxing a little bit with each stair on the way back down to the kid free zone and the quietness. i waited it out for about half an hour and then i was super excited about treating myself to a bubble bath in their huge whirlpool bathtub. i was all warm and relaxed in the bathtub with the jets going and my book...and i should have known from my one day experience as a mother that this was far too good to be true and never going to last. luckily i had the foresight to lock the door before getting into the bath because 'lo and behold, a knock at the door and alas, abby is there talking about how she didnt say goodnight to the dogs. mom voice came back into play as i had her march back upstairs.
my bath being pretty much ruined, i drained the tub and put on my pajamas just trying to make it to bed all the while trying to forget that i had to set my alarm and get up by 6am to start this whole thing over again. day two recap to come pending my survival...
No comments:
Post a Comment